Will I update this, or is this just an empty promise?

Who knows, maybe. Or this could just be one of those flash in the pan moments I have where I think "oooh, blogging, I'll do that again..."

We'll see what happens. I have good intentions, that's the main thing.

A lot has happened since I last paid any attention to this. The child aka Luciebeast is nudging four years old. I got really fat, but now I'm working hard to get really thin. I got a job on a car magazine, then left, then got a job an car magazine, then got my old job back on the first car magazine except this time I have been promoted even though I seem to write massive sentences without any kind of punctuation in them...urm.

That's about it in a nutshell. I am still angry at the world though, and people do frequently baffle/annoy/irritate me so I dare say I'll add some stories about that as and when they happen.

In the meantime, peace out.

No no, i'm not dead.....

.....although i understand if thats what you think, seeing as i have neglected el blog for a while.

Nothing personal, i've just been busy. Y'know, baby stuff, new job and cars and other stuff....oh, and not forgetting its summer. I'm hardly going to sit in front of this box of tricks everyday. Am i?

Anyway, i'll update you about all that has happened in my little world soon......

....stay tuned.

Who you know, not what you know......

As you may have noticed, i expressed my anger the DVLA recently. Seeing as they are, to all intents and purposes, inept.

Apart from one chap....

The bloke in question was rather helpful infact. Because h works in the medical administration office he is a little more clued up than the muppets i spoke to yesterday. They could be out performed by a cockerspaniels administrative skills....easily.

Anyway, i'm ranting.

The chap explained that as long as the big machine that goes 'bing' has eaten my request for a licence by the 15th, i can drive. Simple as. No long winded nonsense about how i was trapped within the system and owuld simply have to wait. He said it takes a while to process things, and they don;t have the right to extend my ban due to their slow administration.

Thats what i thought, i mearly needed it to be confirmed or else the joy of driving again might be hindered by an overwhelming snse of paranoia. And that wouldn't be pleasant.

So, while i don;t retract my prior rant (the DVLA phone monkeys are no less inept after my discovery) I do say a big thankyou to the chap i spoke to. He made my day a little better.

Just need to make sure that they process my application in time now.....

Victim of the system....

.....thats me. A fully paid up memebr in fact.

As i'm sure you know, driving is not a legal form of travel for me at the moment. A couple of years ago i was a very silly boy and proceeded, while full of cider and vodka, to neatly park my car next to two other cars. At 65 miles per hour.

Obviously this mean tcourt and fines and many wagged fingers and one very learnt lesson. The court gave me an 18 month ban, which given the circumstances was unfathomably good of them. It should have been a lot more. The fact i was, up until that point, a good boy seemed to go a long way.

Anyway, move ofrward 18 months and here i am. Now rather excited that its a mere two weeks till i can over-cook my right arm in Bristols sunny sunny sun. I've bought myself a cool-as-you-like retro Beemer, new wheels for it, got my CD's made, got the stereo...i've paid my debt and all is well.

Well, actually....no it frigging isnt.

I spoke to the DVLA today only to find out that i need to have a medical as a stipulation to the return of my licence. Why i don't know. I'm a 23 year old who drinks once a week if that and doesn;t smoke and as far as i can tell, has no major defaults. So why?

I was told that this medical will also cost me between £100-£150? Fuck right off! Lets have a look at what i have paid already....

*£570 court fine (i deserved that though)
*£175 for course to reduce ban.
*£75 to have have the DVLA send me my old licence back.

And now this? It takes the piss. I broke the law, i accept that. But it's not like i beat a group of children to death with a pointy stick is it? So why am i being treated that way?

The woman at the DVLA insisted i was told this at court. Well, sweetheart, if i was told this i would have made a plan that involved more than TWO FUCKING WEEKS! Dumb ass. No one told me. I have been planning this sine the day i lost it, and god dammit no one told me any such thing. I hate 'the system' all it does is function to serve itself without any thought or consideration going to the those that it serves.

All of this crap is set to delay my licence by another fortnight. Which is fucking rediculous. My long suffering mrs has got to take me to work for longer, costing us more money in petrol. Its a joke.

But hey, thats 'the system'. What do they care?

They fixed the computers....

......Bollocks.

Technology, it's sodding crap.....

So here i sit, bored.

Not only is today a Monday, the most miserable and dull Monday the month of May has ever seen in fact, it's also the day that the computer system at work has decided to commit suicide. Clearly, it all got a bit too much for it so its given up the ghost. This in turn renders me useless. Ignoring the fact that i'm pretty useless already, this is a bad way to begin the day.

The longer it takes the powers that be to repair our manic depressive network means the less time i have to carry out any work i might have to do. I do however have a big leway, considering in any given day i only actually do about 15 minutes of real, honest work. It's not that i'm failing to be productive or anything, it's down to there being very little to do in the first place. Normally i'd be ranting and raving about how dull this is and i wished i never took the job, but the thing is i'm only in this department for another week. After that i go out and do what i was hired for. I'm sure that'll be a relief to the bean counters upstairs too, considering that right now they are paying me large amounts of money to do bugger all.

I guess i'll have to whittle away the morning on ebay or something, with a little splash of solitare too.

I've asked the folks in my office if there is anything they would like me to be doing but there isn't. That to me is a free ticket to do sod all without fear of getting told off. I love moral loopholes.

Anyway, i'm going to post this now and then realise 90% of it is mis-spelt. Then i'm going on ebay, yay.

Happy Birthday, Baby.....

So, as promised, here is your birthday blog.

Happy birthday, babe. I know we aren;t exactly the richest people in the world at the moment but i promise i'll take you and bump out for a fancy meal.

I love you so damn much and being with you makes me so happy.

It's rather early so my ability to write long flowing paragraphs is hindered. In stead i'll say happy birthday to you tonight, wink wink!!

Have a great day babe, try and aviod doing any work if possible!

Goodbye old friend......

Well, its with a heavy heart that i have decided to sell my beloved Zodiac. It wasn't an easy choice but no matter which angle i attack it from i simply can't justify keeping it. With the imminent baby on the way, it's probably going to be years before i can get around to doing anything to it, so it's time to let someone else take over.

Thats my only concern really. I just want it to go to a good home, y'know, someone who is going to look after it and give it the care it deserves. In fact, if i suspect a hint of neglect from any potential buyers i simply won't sell it. I'll hide it in the garage....forever! mwah ha haaaa!

Actually, i won't. If i did that my Mrs. would make me live in the garage with it i suspect.

So, thats that. If you're looking for a slightly rust 45 year old car then drop me a line. Rusty cars are my business!