"Da Da!?"
See that? That there is what i'm going to be called in about 9 months.
Yes folks, you heard me. In roughly 270ish days i will be a Daddy. It goes without saying that i'm pleased, although when i first found out i spent three days looking like i'd been Tango'd..or Punk'd, if you're 15.
How in the name of all things Mothercare am i supposed to bring up a child? In our current house-heirachy the cats rank above me...so what the hell am i going to do when a baby rolls around? What i think of my parenting abilities isn't going to stop a big, pretty pair of eyes looking up at me and expecting me to give them the world.
I'll do my best, i'll do more than my best. I just hope it's enough.
Baby love is one thing. Baby logistics though? Well, thats a whole new ball game! As a man i feel the government...or my mum, should have given me more notice. We now have to move house as we live in a shoe box, every penny of our wages is earmaked for Mammas'n'Pappas every-bloody-thing, i need to sell the car becuase there is no way my sprog is riding around in my clapped out 200,000mile Beemer and, worse of all, i have to ALWAYS empty the cats litter tray because if my better half goes near it she is at risk of catching kittybumpooyitis. This alone is the single most distressing task because no cats, and i do mean NO cats on the planet can create bottom-air like they can, quite simply, they smell.
Why did no one warn me? I thought babies were full of giggle and backwards laughs, big eyes and cute smiles? Clearly the education system has tought me wrong....or i wasn;t paying attention, one of the two.
I'll cope though. 'Bump' as it has been named, is going to change my life totally so i don't mind. Becaus ei know as soon as i see that forst smile or hear the first 'dadadadadadadaaaa' (they like that noise, apparently) it'll be more than worth it.
Yes folks, you heard me. In roughly 270ish days i will be a Daddy. It goes without saying that i'm pleased, although when i first found out i spent three days looking like i'd been Tango'd..or Punk'd, if you're 15.
How in the name of all things Mothercare am i supposed to bring up a child? In our current house-heirachy the cats rank above me...so what the hell am i going to do when a baby rolls around? What i think of my parenting abilities isn't going to stop a big, pretty pair of eyes looking up at me and expecting me to give them the world.
I'll do my best, i'll do more than my best. I just hope it's enough.
Baby love is one thing. Baby logistics though? Well, thats a whole new ball game! As a man i feel the government...or my mum, should have given me more notice. We now have to move house as we live in a shoe box, every penny of our wages is earmaked for Mammas'n'Pappas every-bloody-thing, i need to sell the car becuase there is no way my sprog is riding around in my clapped out 200,000mile Beemer and, worse of all, i have to ALWAYS empty the cats litter tray because if my better half goes near it she is at risk of catching kittybumpooyitis. This alone is the single most distressing task because no cats, and i do mean NO cats on the planet can create bottom-air like they can, quite simply, they smell.
Why did no one warn me? I thought babies were full of giggle and backwards laughs, big eyes and cute smiles? Clearly the education system has tought me wrong....or i wasn;t paying attention, one of the two.
I'll cope though. 'Bump' as it has been named, is going to change my life totally so i don't mind. Becaus ei know as soon as i see that forst smile or hear the first 'dadadadadadadaaaa' (they like that noise, apparently) it'll be more than worth it.
posted by Chris at 12:37 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home